I found out that if you give your tomato plant adequate water and fertilizer you run the risk of it never flowering because consistently comfortable conditions convince the plant that there is no environmental pressure to spread and reproduce.
You can literally be a helicopter tomato parent and grow a spoiled directionless manchild tomato plant.
“Why do white people own so many pets?
Because we’re not allowed to own people anymore.
What is the scariest thing about a white person in prison?
You know he did it.
how many Chicago cops does it take to change a light bulb? None, they just beat the room for being black.”
A good looking 50 year old white man is trying to get laid on reality TV. What show are you watching?
To catch a predator.
Why do white girls travel in groups of three or five?
They can’t even
What do you call 64 white people in a room? A full blooded Cherokee.”
at dinner last night, a coworker was talking about hanging out with his white friends and getting fed up with the racist jokes, and asked them to tell a white people joke. nobody had any, so he googled and found these. after a few of them, people were a lot less comfortable.
white folks, next time you hear a racist joke, maybe lead with one of these in response. tag this “I’m white” when you reblog it, if you are.
I’m fucking screaming at the last one tho.
christmas eve what about christmas adam
happy christmas adam to all men’s rights activists
Please stop pestering us with things like this. This has nothing to do with men fighting for their rights. Eve is short for ‘evening’. Please don’t turn activism into a joke. Thanks.
Someone isn’t having a good christmas adam
Christmas Adam: December 23rd. Comes before Christmas Eve and is generally unsatisfying.
ok apparently if a duckling imprints on a human and doesn’t meet other ducklings he ends up believing he’s a human too. that’s unbelievable. what if im just a duckling with an overactive imagination. what if im just a sleeping duckling and this is all a dream
Druid: My name is Erik with a k.
NPC: *writes name down* And your last name?
Druid: With a k.
NPC: No I got that: Erik. What’s your last name?
Druid: My last name is with a k.
NPC: Wait…is your name Erik Erik?
Druid: My last name is With a K.
NPC: Okay wait a minute, so to clarify —
Druid: My last name is literally the phrase *air quotes* “Withakay.” It is all one word.
NPC: *finishes writing* So review the document to make sure I got this right.
Druid: *looks* No I spell Eric with a C