I can’t wait until I am consistently the person in authority on a vacation. or at least equal with the person in authority. It might be better if someone who actually plans things were in charge.
But what I’m getting at is that I wish, on vacation, I could ACTUALLY do what I want to do, and I didn’t have to pretend I wanted to do things I’m “supposed” to want to do, like go on walks or see museums dedicated to things I don’t care about, for fear of being relentlessly guilted at if word got out I didn’t actually want to do it.
I’m not exactly sure how it works, but any time I don’t want to accompany my father on a journey HE wishes to take, it somehow translates to me being lazy, or not caring about him, or spending too much time on the computer/indoors, and I should be ashamed of myself.
While we’re on the subject of my father, it would be nice if he could take what he dishes out as far as jokes/teasing goes. Just so that I don’t have to constantly guard what I say to him for fear of mortally offending him somehow, and then pretend to laugh when I don’t find one of his teasing jokes especially funny.
Basically, what it boils down to is, I would like to go on vacation without my father. >_> I’d love to WANT to go on vacation with my father, but spending such a prolonged period of time in his presence is so stressful that my vacations end up being desperate treasure hunts for time alone with my sister/mom. Which is not a vacation after all.
I always get excited at the idea of a vacation and then I slowly realize that it’s not going to be as nice as it sounds because I’m going to be made to do things I don’t want to do, or be made to feel guilty for doing things I do want to do, or just get in stupid arguments I don’t even mean to argue about because I disagree with him and suddenly his defenses slam up like the alarm in a high security prison just went off.
I love my dad because he is my dad, and because I know he means well and is a genuinely good guy, and because he has his moments where he’s fun to be around. But a little distance is so good for us, and being constantly together is not. I loved my dad so well when I was at college. We spoke once in a while on video chat, and I could email him if I had a question about something, but we didn’t have to be around each other and it was great.
I hope I don’t sound whiny or anything. I don’t mean to whine. I only want to sort of get these thoughts out of my head. They’re completely genuine, and I’m not condemning him, I’m just stating the way things are. And I’m a little worried because there’s still a week left of vacation and I’m already getting irritated with him.
I think maybe all this stems to an even deeper issue, which is that I am SO SO ready to start my OWN life, and I just have to wait a while longer before that’s possible. I really cannot wait to no longer live in my parents’ house, to no longer have my dad constantly checking up on my bank account, to no longer be told to clean my room like I’m 10, to be seen as competent. Ah well. Hopefully it’s only a matter of months before that starts to happen.
this is kinda long but I don’t remember how to cut these and I can’t be arsed to figure it out so
“There’s no substitute for the feel of an actual book. I adore physically turning pages, and being able to underline passages and not worrying about dropping them in the bath or running out of power. I also find print books objects of beauty, and I don’t speak as a precious, first-edition-mustn’t-crack-the-spine-type collector, but as somebody who loves a shiny new paperback, and the smell of second-hand books.”—
What about people with disabilities who can use a screen reader on an ebook but not on a paper book or who can’t hold a paper book but can hold and read a kindle or a nook? They can listen to books on tape and have people read books to them, but they don’t get a chance that way to experience the book for themselves without having someone else’s experience color it.
Even if you have a definite preference for physical books, e-books are fucking useful. A Kindle, in a Kindle case, is about the size of a moderate to small hardcover book, weighs half as much, and can carry literally thousands of books. It offers the option to have everything read aloud, so it’s accessible to people who can’t read the words on the screen, it’s easier to hold than a printed book, and it saves a tremendous amount of resources, given that the books it holds are not made of physical materials and don’t have to be driven anywhere.
I love physical books. I love holding them, owning them, buying them, looking at them, and reading them. It is my dearest wish to own a house and make it what is effectively a large personal library, and I would like nothing more than to be able to retire and run a rare and used book store. But ebooks are, in a lot of ways, much more efficient and accessible than physical books, and it’s ridiculous to condemn them just because they offer an alternative.
I’m really reblogging this for Charles’ comment because this is exactly how I feel on the matter. I don’t think there’s any substitute at all for a proper book but kindles and ebooks are so much more convenient.